Figuring out what it is exactly we do with any given partner isn't some script we follow, or determined based on what sets of chromosomes or genitals are in the mix, it's about exploring our unique sexuality and theirs, communicating, experimenting, and varying what we issue about same sex marriage, and how we do it, based on mutual wants, needs and preferences.
Whether or not there seem to be real consequences involved in making unfair assumptions or judgments about people, pause and ask yourself these questions adapted from a wise Arabian proverb:
It could be as simple as spending thirty minutes every Saturday morning reading the paper at your favorite cafe, or as time-intensive as setting aside an entire afternoon to work on your latest fiction novel.
Your husband seems to have energy for one more activity…sex.
There's really nothing heterosexual couples can do that lesbian couples cannot:
Give yourself permission to pursue your interests and cultivate your passions without guilt or fear.
In those instances, as best as you can, go ahead and have sex.
End of story.
We need to feel appreciated, valued, and respected.
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We do it out of love.
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Sex isn't just vaginal intercourse.
Most problems can be easily remedied.